Enlighten me...please!
Enlighten me...please. I don't ask that with rancor or with sarcasm. I truly want to know.
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Why do so many people refuse to question beliefs, political views they hold, and especially tenets they claim to hold in matters of religion?
Let's talk first of religious views.
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As with most answers I find I must approach this with my own experience in mind.
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Is it a matter of satisfaction with my current views?
Do I firmly feel that I am so accurate (so right) in my views that I need not even examine my beliefs?
Am I so comfortable in my belief niche that I wouldn't consider examining other points of view?
Is doing such a thing risky?
Would I risk the wrath of God?
Would I risk hearing words of scorn from my closest friends, family members, or perhaps fellow church members (in the case of religion)?
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Is the idea of even examining new views upsetting, frightening...a violation of teaching ingrained in me since childhood? And, related...am I still closely akin to (or involved in) a lifetime belief system (a given church, say) that constantly reinforces tenets I've heard since childhood?
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Does it take a drastic event in one's life to prompt a reexamination of beliefs?
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From my own experience, the answer to all these questions was mostly a "yes."
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I remember dissatisfying issues, questions, if you will, about what was then my "current views" of my church's teachings and processes as early as the age of ten or thereabouts. I remember that I knew I would be embarrassed to think of bringing a school friend to a church service. I thought how it would scare the daylights out of a friend who came for the first time and who saw a display of someone jumping to his or her feet and loudly "speaking in tongues," followed by an interpretation of said message by still another person with such an emotional outpouring.
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Yes, the gospel music was fun. The soloists and group special music was often performed by people with immense talent, but the preaching was loud, scary, dramatic...and always ended in an altar call designed to get those unsaved people to walk the aisle, come forward and give their lives to Christ. Guilt was elicited. Fear was elicited. What if you were to die that very evening without accepting Jesus? With every head bowed and every eye closed, the preacher would say "I see that hand," presumably upon someone lifting a hand to say "yes" to the invitation.
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Most church services had dramatic moments where "the Spirit moved" and the congregation was most often caught up in the emotions of loud praise, sometimes shouting, lots of tears...and always, singing of gospel songs or praise choruses that all knew from memory. It was most often an amazing display of group dynamics. Preachers who led these sorts of services well were considered the best and were "anointed by God."
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While I didn't necessarily think (at that age) that any of this was wrong, odd, or maybe even unusual (I had never attended any other church service), I couldn't quite get over why I, even after "walking the aisle" myself at a tent revival set up in a vacant field on the south tip of what is now the Triangle Shopping Center in Longview, Washington, still always felt "guilt" at every altar call. I suspect I could have "given my heart to Jesus" at every service and still felt the guilt. I think I was considered a good kid...minded my parents mostly, didn't swear, didn't smoke, didn't drink, and didn't go to dances. Well, OK, I did have the occasional evil thought about girls...especially as I got into my teen years! That must have been it! I kept thinking, if Jesus has forgiven my sins, why not "once and for all" and why live in fear and guilt?
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While it was never stated out loud, the underlying belief was that only those in this church and those like this church were likely to go to heaven. All others were likely to be on "a way that seemeth right unto man, but the way thereof is destruction." In other words, only one way to heaven. Hell, a place of ever-lasting torment was a very real place for one who had not accepted Jesus as savior.
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This might be the point where I say...
As much as anything, because of my profession as a choir director, over many years I've worked in evangelical, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Roman Catholic, Methodist, and Episcopal churches. While there was no "speaking in tongues" with the Presbyterians, Lutheran, Catholic, Methodist, or Episcopalians, and the church services differed considerably, especially in the "main-stream" type churches from those services of my youth, the basic premises of all Christian churches remains the same. "The Word of the Lord" was the Bible. Jesus died to save all mankind. The Holy Trinity is basic. I have said (somewhat in jest) that my ten years in the Episcopal church made me realize a couple of things...they still had altar calls (every mass allowed (encouraged) all to come to the altar rail to receive the bread and the wine), but the part I rather cherish is that they were fond of saying "God doesn't ask you leave your mind at home when you come to church." So, if the latter thought has influenced me to "leave the church," I guess you can blame it on the Episcopalians. (Please note that I'm saying this with "tongue in cheek.")
So, yes, perhaps I was ripe for losing my faith even at a young age. I certainly wasn't prepared to state such a thing as a kid or even as a young adult fresh out of a secular college. But I think it safe to say, though without specific examples, that I may very well have had doubts even as a young person. However, even as a high school student and as I began college, I prayed I would do God's will for my life and that he would guide me into a profession or job where He would be "glorified." I probably didn't know exactly what that meant, but prayed it nevertheless.
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It seems likely that I was never so firm in my faith that I wouldn't consider other possibilities. Believe me, it was very uncomfortable, however, examining my faith system. This was almost agonizing as I began to think in other terms about my faith, about the inerrancy of the Bible, about who Jesus was, about the plan for and the need for a Savior, and about whether God existed. Much of this began as I moved into my 50's. I suspect this was even harder because these hard questions began to crop up rather late in my life.
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And, yes, such a reexamination of my belief system seemed to have considerable risk. Having family and friends who, for the most part, shared my earlier belief system made it possible I could be shunned or made the object of criticism, overt and covert. Well, at least I thought so. While I've no doubt been the subject of prayer or of concern, I must say that my family and friends remain tolerant, loving and kind. That is not always the case, I've been told.
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Perhaps it does take some major crises in one's life to seriously reconsider such a powerful force. I'm not oblivious to that possibility and to the role of a divorce, the breaking of marriage vows or even to the changing of professions.
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None of this took place quickly. I wrestled with these issues of religion well over twenty years.
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With a Master's degree in music education I noted the chapters in music history books (among other classes) about the Greeks and the Romans of old. While it's easy to get all the legends about such gods and their relatives mixed up...and I mostly wrote them off for what most folks today consider pure mythology...I often wondered if our oh-so-solid beliefs in all the Bible stories, (the creation story, the captivity and exodus of the Israelites in and from Egypt, the sun standing still for Joshua so his troops could complete the annihilation of the enemy), as well as New Testament's story of the redeeming death of God's only Son and his sacrificial death and resurrection. Might all of this also be myth?
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Now, mind you, I had gone to Sunday School, VBS, Bible study each Wednesday night. I sang in the choir. I read the Bible cover to cover more than once. I memorized the order of the books of the Bible. I've listened to thousands of sermons for I've attended church (until my recent years) all of my life. I've read the books of C. S. Lewis and many others who have touted the tenets of the faith. While I'm sure I don't qualify as a scholar of the Christian faith, I feel I can rightfully claim considerable knowledge of the Bible and of that faith. And yes, Jesus, and what he purported to have said and done is not unknown to me either.
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I read the books of John Shelby Spong, an Episcopal bishop (of New Jersey until 2000) who some considered to be a bit out on the edge of things. Spong, to my knowledge, has never indicated a lack of belief in God and still calls himself Christian. But, to me at least, he raised questions about the Bible itself...that sacred book that was held up dramatically by the preachers of my youth as they shouted the message of salvation and proclaimed every word in it as an inerrant statement from God himself. He raised questions about the efficacy of prayer and seemed unafraid to question bedrock beliefs long held by the church. How could he do this and remain a part of the Episcopal tradition?
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Make no mistake about it. Bishop Spong has major detractors. He has been called a "heretic." He's been banned from speaking in some churches, including some Episcopal churches. Despite suffering a stroke in 2016, he continues to write. One of his latest articles is called "Unbelievable: Why Neither Ancient Creeds Nor The Reformation Can Produce a Living Faith Today."
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Other authors raise even more questions. Bart Erhman, who has a degree from the evangelical Wheaton College (as did Billy Graham) and who went on for a PhD (magna cum laude) at Princeton Theological Seminary, joined the ranks of evangelicals who questioned (eventually) the tenets of the faith and, more especially, the inerrancy of the Bible itself. He said:
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I did my very best to hold on to my faith that the Bible was the inspired word of God with no mistakes and that lasted for about two years … I realized that at the time we had over 5,000 manuscripts of the New Testament, and no two of them are exactly alike. The scribes were changing them, sometimes in big ways, but lots of times in little ways. And it finally occurred to me that if I really thought that God had inspired this text … If he went to the trouble of inspiring the text, why didn’t he go to the trouble of preserving the text? Why did he allow scribes to change it? (Bart Erhman)
Bart D. Ehrman has written or edited thirty books, including five New York Times bestsellers: How Jesus Became God, Misquoting Jesus, God’s Problem, Jesus Interrupted and Forged. Erhman continues to write. His most recent book is "The Triumph of Christianity: How a Forbidden Religion Swept the World."
It's been much more than Erhman or Spong. "Christianity in the Light of Science" (numerous essayists, edited by John Loftus , "The Case Against The Case for Christ," by Robert Price, or "The Christian Delusion," edited by John Loftus, "All That's Wrong With The Bible: Contradictions, Absurdities,and More," by Jonah David Conner, "Four Disturbing Questions with One Simple Answer," by Tim Sledge, as well as "Goodbye, Jesus," also by Tim Sledge, formerly the pastor of one of the largest southern Baptist churches in Texas.
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In their most inner thoughts, even the most devout Christians know that there is something illegitimate about belief. Underneath their profession of faith is a sleeping giant of doubt... (Dan Barker, pastor-turned-atheist)
One relative, during a brief discussion early in my "transition" from believer to unbeliever, rather poo-pooed my examination of books such as those by John Spong as "you're letting your frustration and disenchantment with your childhood experiences with church, and your attention to "Spongisms" cloud your opinions. I assume this person meant I was being led astray by allowing myself to read such questionable material.
My only answer to that sort of observation is to ask the question as to why should we not examine all sides of the issue. While I don't presume that every person with a PhD has the correct answer to all of life's engaging questions, I am inclined to listen when they speak to a question of profound interest to me. I feel that my allegiance to 40 to 50 years of Bible studies should qualify me to withstand the arguments of those who might be trying to undermine my faith...if indeed that is their motive. Further, a solid faith built on what is purported to be the "word of God" should not suffer the least from "Spongisms" or the scholarship (whether accurate or inaccurate) of Bart Erhman or any of the rest of such questioners.
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In all honesty, it is quite possible that my penchant for doubt (from childhood onward) may well have made me susceptible to even wanting to read such material. But then I keep asking myself, "why does all this make so much sense?" "Must I leave my mind, my logic, my thinking skills, at the door when I walk into a Christian church?"
To be perfectly clear, however, I applaud those who are deeply committed to a faith that works for them. I am not trying to make converts. I have no great commandment to "go into all the world and preach the (my) gospel." But I do ask, what have you to fear in an honest examining of other options?
"Why should I waste my time on such a thing?" they may ask.
Actually, I think I do know the answer to that question. It really is a wrenching and an emotional thing to even consider that, for example, the old testament of the Bible might be a composite of writings about the legends, myths, songs, or stories of a primitive tribe of people rather than the "true word of God." That the new Testament could well be a cobbled together and inconsistent version about a small part of the life of an itinerant Jewish prophet, who largely because of the teachings of Paul became the focus of a major world religion. Yes, all that could easily be too much to take when it's been an incredibly deep part of one's thinking for a lifetime. I don't say that with the slightest streak of meanness. It was a hard thing for me consider. I suspect it a difficult thing, especially for those who are either locked in to their beliefs or to those who find comfort in the status quo.
I must say, though, that there is something incredibly "freeing" about the realization I've come to accept. I'm 81 years old. What took me so long?
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For more on the subject...especially as related to politics (and yes, some more on religion) please see:
A letter to evangelical Christian friends and relatives HERE
The economy and religion…some parallels HERE
A man who preached poverty, forgiveness, and non-violence has message altered; turned into political power at the Council of Nicaea
A heretical view of the church, both Protestant and Catholic (Read at your own risk!) HERE
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